The bus snaked its way silently through the hills as I sat anxiously in my seat not knowing what lay ahead for me. This was a very unfamiliar trajectory for my life. But the journey was bearable in some way, partly because I was still tipsy from last night's stash. I had looked intently at that bottle of gin one last time that morning before I packed for my journey to the land of the unknown, slapped its bottom with a lot of nostalgia as was a customary ritual, 'blessed it' and kissed it goodbye as I drained its last contents into my expectant and salivating mouth. Our relationship had become toxic and I had to end it!
Nobody ever tells you the whole truth when you take your first sip of alcohol. It feels good but never promises eternal bliss. It lubricates happy times but does not sustain joy. It emboldens the timid but most certainly the aftermath of liquid courage is a train-wreck of choices and decisions which are regrettable in every way. Relational turmoil, bodily harm and consistent patterns of economic ruin become the norm. It was too late for me to turn the clock around on some things but now the moment to look at myself in the mirror, and make a choice had come. I had hit rock bottom! I had tried everything to quit but couldn't. I thought I was in charge but my actions proved otherwise. I was a slave in perpetual bondage. You can't feed your flesh and still deceive yourself that you are in charge!
The Key
I had evaluated everything and resolved that maybe rehab had the key to my sanity. Maybe it would help me exorcise the demons of alcohol that were now working overtime to sink my life. It is amazing how in life too many times we can find ourselves in places we have despised or held in contempt. I used to think rehab was for the hardcore drug users and criminals, and here I was checking myself into one. A smile spread through my face as I thought about this. Indeed it is a fact of life that tomorrow belongs only to God. Humble yourself today and contemplate silently about your ways. I was humbled.
The bus got to its destination shortly after noon day without much fanfare, It was one of those remote villages where folks still have some sense of civility and decorum. The weather was dull and the atmosphere was pregnant with cold air. A fleeting thought crossed my mind for a split second, a seductive agent of darkness seemed to whisper in my eyes in a sweet and irresistible voice," Why feel cold when you can look for a place and grab a drink to warm your belly before you proceed?" "Not today Satan!" I shouted to myself boldly as I grabbed my suitcase which was extremely heavy. I was not going to let the familiar heat of neat whisky going down my throat hinder me from accomplishing my mission.
I finally located the big black gate I had been searching for. The guard was courteous and ushered me in with a big grin on his face. Here I was officially booked into a rehab. This was going to be my home for the next 3 months, and I was ready. I had carried plenty of books, almost half of my library at that time, to read and glean from as part of my transformation agenda. I was determined to take my life apart in this place piece by piece and reconstruct it afresh.
Bonfires of Joy
The best part about this was that everybody in rehab was an alcoholic or an addict, probably with the exception of the support staff, so for the first time in my life I felt understood. Our experiences were similar, our struggles familiar and everybody shared openly without fear of being misunderstood or judged. People gathered around a bonfire at night and told tales of brokenness, misguided adventures, family dysfunctions, and hilarious escapades which we all laughed off until our stomachs hurt. The therapy and comfort were real.
Half the battle you endure as an alcoholic or an addict is trying to figure out why you behave the way do, why you can't quit, or why you cant control your drinking like other social drinkers. Whenever I am counseling families of alcoholics today, I always tell them that any person who is an alcoholic or an addict is no longer doing it for fun, the drug is now a primary means of survival! Being with fellow alcoholics and learning about their journeys and experiences was such an enriching revelation.
In this journey of addiction, very few people understand the dynamics. I found people who had been thrown out of church, families and all kinds of associations simply because they have an addiction problem. Where do these people go when they are rejected by society and the church? They drink themselves to death or die in alcohol-related incidents!
God's Compassion
God is such a compassionate God. He cares for alcoholics and addicts. He sent His son to die for them on the cross and redeem them for His glory. If it were not for Christ I would have died in my drunkenness'. God stretched forth His hand of grace and called me back to Himself. He also gave me a commission, "Go and tell them about my love and the great plans I have for them if they would listen to me."
That is how our ministry, House of Healing was born, to share the truth and show the compassion of Christ to alcoholics, addicts and their families. Nobody is beyond redemption, and please never struggle in silence, because others have walked the paths of addiction you now walk today and have emerged victorious. Let us point you to the true source of all freedom and restoration. You will overcome my friend.
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